SlaphappyGeek Jokes! No, really!

We really don’t see anything funny about most geek jokes, although we have been the butt of a few (no, we don’t do butt jokes here!). Geeks are sensitive and caring people, too! (snicker…)

So if you think these are funny, please keep your smirks to yourself!

Hey! Hand over that calculator! Friends don’t let friends derive drunk!

There are ten types of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don’t.
(Note: You may not get this one if you can’t count to 32 on one hand)

If you’re cross-eyed AND have dyslexia, can you read OK?

Please enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

More jokes after break…

But our support service is no joke!

The box said ‘Requires Windows 95 or better’ So I installed LINUX!

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. Bartender serves the drink and the neutron says, “How much?” The bartender responds, “For you, no charge!”

Is there another word for synonym?

Where would I find another word for thesaurus?

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None…that’s a hardware problem!

Linux: Because rebooting is for adding new hardware.

If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0

The nice thing about standards is that there are so many to choose from.

Windows: Just another pane in the glass

Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with Microsoft products.

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…

You know you are a geek when you’re amazed to find out spam is actually a food.

100 bottles of beer on the wall. 100 bottles of beer. You take one down, pass it around, FF bottles of beer on the wall…